If someone more shitty than me existed I wouldn't believe it. Anyway here's some information.

Name: Ask my mother, she'll know.

Age: I was born in 1998, you do the math because I'm to lazy to figure it out.

Height: I'm as tall as I have to be

Sex: Which one's the one with the vagina? I can never remember.

 

thorki:

I JUST SAW A GUY AT WALMART AND HE LOOKED LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN AND HE CAUGHT ME LOOKING AT HIM AND HE POINTED AT ME AND SAID “IM NOT MORGAN FREEMAN”

(Source: thorki)

clubbedsoda:

“you’re denying it so it must be true!”
NO IM DENYING IT BECAUSE ITS FALSE MOTHERFUCKER

laugh-til-ya-fart:

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

flyawaymax:

doritoed:

if a plant is sad do other plants photosympathize with it?

 ”i chlorofeel you man”

(Source: cashcutie)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

you had such a thirst for knowledge; and now school has ruined that.

something that someone said to me recently and I think about it a lot. (via writerings)

(Source: ecrirers)

martininamerica:

lonely-ler:

thiscartoonlife:

Witty banter

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS GIF SET FOR THE LONGEST TIME!

Give me a sequel to this.

(Source: dysfunctiocerebri)