If someone more shitty than me existed I wouldn't believe it. Anyway here's some information.

Name: Ask my mother, she'll know.

Age: I was born in 1998, you do the math because I'm to lazy to figure it out.

Height: I'm as tall as I have to be

Sex: Which one's the one with the vagina? I can never remember.

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megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

liamnpayne:

when people correct ur grammar on the internet 

image

spankmehardbarry:

conkersradfurday:

spankmehardbarry:

i keep getting random erections today and idk why

I guess you could say it’s been a hard day.

image

mattyofshadow:

deluxesherlock:

bacon-lettuce-and-timmyturner:

fineas-and-pherb:

Best backstory. (x)

You know…for a second there…his head shape led me to believe he could be Phineas’s father.

whA T

NO BUT THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY PHINEAS IS SO INVENTIVE OH MY GOD

ejacutastic:

kill the imposter

hows:

ME

thesociallyawkwardasian:

meanplastic:

it’s past tents

dont listen gorgeous

leightimtam:

leightimtam:

NONO NO NO NO SO I HAD CLASS WITH MY LIT TEACHER TODAY AND HIS LEFT ARM IS AMPUTATED FROM JUST BELOW THE ELBOW AND HE WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE PUTTING THE PAPERS ON HIS DESK INTO HIS BREIF CASE AT THE END OF THE CLASS AND I GO TO HIM AND SAY “YOU NEED A HAND?” AND ITS SILENT AND I JUST WHISPER OH NO AND HE STARTS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY I WAS SO EMBARASSED

Who reblogged his

Why are there so many notes

foreveralone-lyguy:

Fuck off Tim

communistbakery:

I write sins not cosines or tangents

theamazingindi:

diacrit:

"If you buy your girlfriend flowers, they will wilt. If you but your girlfriend a phone, it will break. Buy your girlfriend a wrench. Nothing will happen to a wrench."

this is painfully russian